I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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