i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
