Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
