New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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