I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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