Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
