how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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