so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
