The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize