I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
