Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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