i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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