I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we're making bets on your personal life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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