Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
