One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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