Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
