But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
