I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
