i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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