Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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