im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
