So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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