Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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