yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
