I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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