Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize