It's Friday. Sex?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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