if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
