ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
