lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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