Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
