i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize