apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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