i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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