Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize