Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
