Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
