Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
