i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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