He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
