toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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