Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
