:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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