You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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