I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
