i think my mom watched the whole time
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
