You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize