His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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