I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
