I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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