Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need water and some morals
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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