He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
