The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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