Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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