2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
