you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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