I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just pee around me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
