I want you more than these girls want KFC
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize