The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
