i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
