Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
