just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Houston, we have a squirter
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
