It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
