Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
