Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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