try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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