I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
