have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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