I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize