Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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